Saturday, August 22, 2015

Doctors confirm werewolf bite, man amped for next full moon

Earlier this month, a 32-year-old man was out on the Yorkshire Moors for a backpacking trip when he was attacked by what he thought was a bear.

Doctors yesterday said the wound on Jose Rodriguez’s chest was actually the bite of a werewolf, and that Rodriguez was, for certain, infected with the werewolf’s curse.

“I’m pretty pumped,” Rodriguez said. “There ain’t many Mexican werewolves out there, and I’m just psyched for the next full moon when I can get my hombre lobo on.”

Rodriguez lives in a Northern California suburb and works in retail. He says he plans on picking up the night shift on that first full moon, which will be Sat., Aug. 29.

“I know some fools at work I wanna show my new powers to,” Rodriguez said. “I can’t wait to see how they react.”

Rodriguez’s co-workers and upper management should be pretty surprised.

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