Thursday, August 27, 2015

New neighborhood not receptive to regular, everyday evil activities

A nice evil family is having trouble adjusting to their new neighborhood on Mayfield Place in the suburban town of Hinkley Hills, Nowhere, USA. It seems the family’s neighbors aren’t into the usual wicked activities most monsters are accustomed to.

It’s only been a few weeks and trouble is brewing.

“Already we’ve received several complaints about the crematory noises coming from our basement,” said the patriarch of the monster family, who wishes to remain headless. “Evidently these neighbors pushed out another family that lived here previously who simply wanted to raise their own skeletons. What’s so odd about that?”

Many residents in the area have gone to the city to see what can be done about getting rid of the monster family altogether. According to the Hinkley Hills City Clerk, the city has no ordinance against evil, as long as residents conduct that evil in the confines of their own home, which the monster family has been doing in their basement and backyard since they moved into their place earlier this month.

The people, however, will have their day in the council chambers. Next Thursday, they will take the issue to the Hinkley Hills City Council in hopes of getting legislation against the monster family’s everyday activities that seem to be so offensive.

As of now, the item will be heard right after a discussion regarding the controversial citywide slurry seal project. Most people want their street done first. Expect large, angry mobs.


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