Friday, August 7, 2015

Trick-or-treat warriors begin training next week

On Monday, trick-or-treat warriors everywhere will begin training for Halloween. 

Some kids will run miles. Others will eat ridiculous amounts of food as a means to stretch their stomachs so they can devour more candy than the competition. One thing’s for sure: it’s gonna get real this year—Halloween is on a Saturday.

“Last year I filled my whole pillow case with candy,” said a trick-or-treat warrior from small suburb in Southern California. “This year, Halloween is on a Saturday. One pillow case is unacceptable. This year I’m gonna fill at least three 60-gallon trash bags.”

Monsters everywhere are looking to unite against the threat.

“These kids have a cockiness that’s unprecedented,” said Frankenstein’s Monster. “We creatures of the night must come together and shut them down. That means, if I have to hook myself up to a nuclear power plant so I can energize and dominate these cocky little brats, then that’s what ol' Frank is gonna do.”

The JLP will keep you up to date on the training as we close in on the big night.

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