Staff Fight Writer
Johnny “Stoker” Dixon, a mutant, was put into the boxing ring this evening at the Shadow City Boxing Ring to see what he could do. He literally ripped his opponent, Tiger Nelson, into bloody body parts.
First Stoker pulled off Tiger’s right arm. Then he gave him a left hook and knocked his nose right off his face.
“When Stoke bit off his ear and tossed it onto the mat next to the bloody nose,” said fight announcer Eddie Clay, “we knew we were in for a special evening. After that he tore Tiger’s head off his shoulders and yanked his spinal cord out of his body like he was pulling a blade out of its sheath.”
Dr. Frankenstein from up the hill said he wanted to piece Tiger back together for a re-match against Stoker next week.
“You can’t put a human in the ring with a mutant,” the doctor said. “We’ll just have to see how Stoker does up against what I’m going to create for the rematch.”
To complicate the story further, sources said Little Boy Tiny Thompson put money on the fight against Stoker and added that he’d actually paid Stoker to throw the fight. In the back alley after all was said and done, Tiny and his degenerates cornered the mutant and tried to rough him up for turning on the bet, but Stoker ripped them all limb from limb.
“We saw a large crowd gathering out back behind the Boxing Room and ran over to see what was going on,” said fight fan Harry Fabian. “The way Stoker took these guys apart was awe-inspiring. It was a bloody mess. I can’t wait for more. I’ll be back next week, that’s for sure.”
The Shadow City Fighting Commission was not too happy with Stoker’s behavior.
“If we have fighters tearing people apart like this,” said commission head Eyemda Bawss, “pretty soon we won’t have any more fighters to fight, we won’t have betters to bet or any spectators to spectate. We’ll be out of business. And -- off the record -- I was in on that little bet and I lost out big, so I’m gonna see to it that the commission sets an example that this kind of conduct is not tolerated.”
The commission later fined Stoker $100 for his actions. Stoker turned the commission into a bloody mess before they could collect his money and before they could take action against Jack-o’-Lantern Press for printing a statement off the record.