Staff Pol-“It”-ical Writer
With election night fast approaching on Nov. 1 and Transyl-vein-ia’s Presidential race really heating up, there was no room for Transyl-vein-ia to get their election buttons wrong.
According to a Transyl-vein-ia Hall of Districts representative, who wishes to remain anonymous, staff received over 300,000 Election “Day” buttons, even though elections, for the past five centuries, have taken place during the night when most monsters, ghouls and goblins are more willing to go out and punch a ticket.
“When I find the monster that made this mistake, not only is this thing gonna be out of a job, it’s also gonna be forced to go work in the human sector,” said Transyl-vein-ia Hall of Districts Manager Afftur Yersoul. “Who in Hell -- or anywhere else in this region -- goes out to vote in the day?”
Yersoul launched an investigation to pin the thing down that did this. New buttons with the words "Election Night" have already been ordered. Only a dozen blue-collar workers were fired to pay for the expense.
Jack-o’-Lantern Press will keep you up to date on the big button investigation and on the monster election as we approach the final weeks of the race.