Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Graffiti found on medieval dungeon wall

By Attila the Hun the 2nd-and-a-Half
Staff Dark Ages Writer

WITCHES MEADOW -- A local wizard was taking his nightly constitutional in the neighborhood late yesterday evening when he came across a rather large piece of graffiti on the north side of the Rottenham Dungeons.

Unfortunately, the medieval jail doesn’t have security cameras, so dungeon keepers were unable to catch the culprit.

“We live in the Dark Ages,” said the Head Headsman of the Dungeons. “We don’t have new age digital gadgetry like ‘surveillance cameras’ and ‘security systems.’ So I made a call to a guy I went to ghoul school with, who’s now a resident in the Mad Science District, and he put an enforcer robot with a DNA tracker on the job. What we discovered was that the spray-paint artist was having some fun following the big Witching Hour fest-evil the other night, but then made the mistake of leaving human cells all over the dungeon wall he defaced and all the way back to his dwelling in the woods near Thorn Thicket. Now said artist is doing 100 years in the Dungeons. The only DNA trail he’ll be making any time soon will be the one he makes to my chopping block.”

Dark Ages, indeed. When asked how the Head Headsman made a phone call from a medieval dungeon to his pally in the Mad Science District, he simply said, “These days, even we have cell phones. Mine’s getting a little glitchy, though. I’ll probably have to run a firmware update following the double-header I’ve got planned this Sunday."

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