Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Robot dance club gets needed reboot

By The Weird Scientist
Staff Tech Writer
MAD SCIENCE DISTRICT -- Critics of the Robot Lounge and Dance Club on Doom Drive called the dance moves at the once hot spot tired and predictable, but with new charging stations and update jacks right in the walls and at the tables, there’s been an unsuspected robot uprising there.

Even terminator machines have been going.

“I can’t calculate what my dance partner is gonna do anymore,” said a sweaty, but not winded and certainly fully-charged T-666 who was speaking to the press late last night at the club. “You can bet that each night when I’m return from the past where I’m looking for the leader of the human resistance, I’ll be here at Robot Lounge puttin’ on the moves. And if I start to slow or become a little dull, I simply plug in and get what I need. This place is back, just like me!”

The T-666 was caught doing some dope hand hops, flares, head spins and even the jam boogie on the dance floor.

“Before, we could only do moves like The Sprinkler, The Cabbage Patch, The Lawnmower and, one of my favorites, The Running Man,” said the T-13, another terminator. “We could operate heavy artillery and mimic human life, but we couldn’t do The Moonwalk to save our operating systems. Now I’m a real dancing machine . . . literally!”

According to Robot Lounge officials, robot patrons will also be able to get firmware updates and USB-imported snacks at the bar. You can even get service packs, hot fixes and other goodies with enhanced features, intelligence and new sub-routines, which will be available in the restrooms where you can dump old files in the trash (or recycle bins, depending on your O.S.).

And while robots are thrilled to have a great place to go and play, hackers are already trying to create viruses to infiltrate the lounge’s network.

“A robot uprising is one thing,” said the leader of one mad scientist group in the area looking to take over the world. “An uprising with robots who dare, dream, smile, sing loudly and dance is something totally different.

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