Monday, September 18, 2017

Zombie loses money at casino, debt collectors put her in hospital, nearby crowd happy for her

SHADOW CITY -- A zombie visiting the city of pain over the weekend lost all her savings on the tables last night in a matter of minutes, and then debt collectors chased her into a dark alleyway and beat her senseless, sending her to the morgue.

A nearby crowd gathered outside the QuickSands Hotel and Casino on the Sun-Never-Rises Strip and applauded young Cindy Erated’s tragic circumstances as a skeleton crew tossed her bloody carcass into a hearse.

“You come to Shadow City with everything,” said one local zombie gnawing on the medial temporal lobe of some poor soul’s brain, “and in no time hard luck hits you like baseball bat to the head.”

This wasn’t meant to sound like marketing copy, but losers are, in fact, made in this town every day. Book your trip now!

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