VALLEY OF DOOM -- An unidentified mummy was seen picking up a box of Band-Aids this evening in a drug store down on the lower east side of Tombtown. Several eyewitnesses made the same report. “I saw him go into the store, stand in line at the ice cream counter like he was gonna get a cone, then he turned, doubled his pace to the first-aid aisle and picked up a box of those Hydro Seals all nonchalant-like,” said a chupacabra who was at the store looking for a bottle of Tapatio hot sauce. “He seemed to be transfixed with the text on the box that said something about the bandages containing some new technology that performs like no other so you can perform like no other. It’s true -- they’re pretty good Band-Aids. I’ve used ‘em before.” According to the clerk at the store, the mummy dropped a 20-dollar bill on the counter and didn’t even wait for his change. He cut out of the store with the box of Hydro Seals, hopped into his red 1987 IROC-Z, and tore up the sand on the way back to his tomb. Those who witnessed the incident said they’d never forget it.