Wednesday, September 12, 2018
Witch tries to return Swiffer
WITCHES MEADOW -- A wicked witch created a scene this evening at her local big box store when she demanded a refund for the Swiffer Sweeper she bought over a year ago. According to the demon at the returns desk, the witch had claimed that the sweeping and mopping tool with its one-two cleaning punch didn’t do what she wanted it to do. “That guy at the counter told me all magical products had to be returned within 90 days of purchase,” the witch said. “Sure, it came with three wet mopping cloths and conformed to the surfaces of my floors, which is pretty magical, I have to admit, but there was no real magic in it. I tried flying it up, up and away at Take-Off Point and fell right off the edge of the cliff. In my mind, this thing is no magical product, and I deserve a refund, even if I bought it a year ago.” The demon still refused to refund the witch. After speaking with the store manager, the ol’ hag got more upset and asked what happened to the “customer is always right, even when they’re wrong” policy. Suffice to say, toads now run the store. In other words: The place is closed until further notice.